Trying to get started but I just sit here, say I'm overwhelmed but I'm not. Just don't believe things will ever be good or if they start it will go bad again. I do have an out a permanent one, can't use it yet, need to make sure April is alright before I leave her.

Why do I think things will go bad again? Because they have in the past. The thing I keep dancing around is the fact that I'm the one who caused it most of the time. Yes, losing a job was part of it but I was in bad shape before the Oyster House closed.

So it is me and it has to change.